At a birthday party recently, I found myself frozen- this happens with Parkinson's Disease -suddenly the brain's signal to move my limbs does not compute and and my muscles become rigid and shaky. I sat on a bench a little bit removed from the main party action to wait for the freeze to pass. This is a painful state. My brain feels like it is spiralling, like I am sinking into a bowl of Jello. And my body is in pain, my muscles seeming to spasm and fight against themselves. I closed my eyes. My mind focused on the sounds of birds, nearby, but not too far. It sounded like they were in a circle around me, holding me. It felt like the sound of the birds was holding this whole party- a little oasis of happiness: the sounds of children laughing and people talking contained by the the bird's song. It was ethereal, surreal and I felt an enormous sense of peace and tranquility.
Beautiful present moments like these have happened when I am feeling my worst, when there is nothing else I can do but just be. Then I slip into something deeper: a feeling of deep appreciation, peace, and gratitude...
Parkinson's disease showed me this little trick of accessing beauty in a moment of pain. Do I have to go through pain to get there? Can I access this feeling anytime?
My freeze ups happen quite often, so I get lots of practice with this. Sometimes I sit with it and see what beauty the moment will show me.... and sometimes I look at Facebook, whatever I'm not perfect.
I have been living with chronic illness and exploring the healing journey for over 20 years. I have been very blessed to learn from many great teachers and have the opportunity to explore many healing paths. I offer what I have learned from that journey to you in the form of aslowerkindoflife.com. I love pondering the mysteries of life and how it all weaves together into a beautiful journey.